Thursday, October 1, 2015

Todd Nickerson's salon.com articles

I'm not writing in this blog very often these days. But here's a highlight that's well worth an entry.

Todd Nickerson wrote an article for salon.comNine days a follow-up appeared.

These articles are a big deal. They've received a lot of attention. Todd is one of the few law-abiding pedophiles who are "out" to the world. He's a brilliant guy, a great writer, and he's got a great sense of humor.

My impressions of the reactions:

The Right objects loudly and portrays this as part of a plan by The Left to strip all morality from our culture. Still sore about gays and lesbians winning the right to marry in the US, they try to claim it's part of an orchestrated progression. They don't seem to get that leftist morality will never sacrifice the well-being of children for anyone's sexual actualization. You often hear that phrase "consenting adults". There's a reason the word "adult" is there.

There are the usual reactions from people who think all pedophiles are molesters and devious liars. Shoot 'em or lock 'em all up.

There are those who get the idea that pedophiles getting help could be a good thing, but think we should seek therapy quietly. We should never associate online, for if we do, whatever tenuous self-control we have will be eroded when we speak to each other. This is somewhat understandable, since the only online pedophile groups they've heard of are those who share child pornography, those who trade tips on how best to abuse kids (do they really exist?), and those who want think adult-child sex is just fine if only society could be convinced to make it legal. Most of the prejudice we face is understandable, given the information people have gotten all their lives.

Then there are sympathetic voices. Todd reports the vast majority of the emails he has gotten are supportive. People don't want to stand up publicly and support him -- they will catch a lot of flak. But privately they will reach out to him and support him. It fits a pattern of publicity for celibate pedophiles -- thoughtful people are seeing us for who we really are and changing their views.

Those who are against us see it all in black and white and shout out their rage at the top of their lungs. It is much harder to feel unalloyed enthusiasm. Pedophilia is an unfortunate condition with no cure. Some pedophiles do abuse children. People would rather think about other things. Reality is often complicated.



3 comments:

  1. "They don't seem to get that leftist morality will never sacrifice the well-being of children for anyone's sexual actualization. You often hear that phrase "consenting adults". There's a reason the word "adult" is there."

    Right-wing morality? Protecting children? Like that's ever going to happen. Many conservatives would be okay beating a child with a belt. Republicans are only against child abuse when it suits their agenda. They are not as moral as they say they are.

    If you want to oppose both spanking and sexual abuse? Fine, so do I. But the conservative wingnuts want to bring back the paddle and the belt, and that to me is unacceptable. Many right-wingers want to bring back child abuse, not eradicate it.

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  2. It constantly amazes me how the mob doesn't want there to be paedophiles who don't offend. They seem hell-bent on insisting that even paedophiles sworn to celibacy must eventually offend. They seem to need to believe that.

    >" Pedophilia is an unfortunate condition with no cure." - oh, come on EE - you should know better than that!

    Would you have said the same thing about homosexuality before it was decriminalised?

    Don't you think you/we should be making it clear that it's very possible to live well, be happy, and to give and receive love, at the same time as being a celibate paedophile, even in our society!?

    Don't you think that the best way to improve the mental and social situation of paedophiles is for people to know that being a paedophile is a gift and not the curse you seem to be making it out to be?

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    Replies
    1. "Pedophilia is an unfortunate condition with no cure".

      I'll stand by that. To me, things like nearsightedness also qualify as unfortunate conditions. Until recently there was no cure, and while the treatment (glasses) was effective, they're a nuisance.

      With that as a standard, I'll say that homosexuality is also an unfortunate condition, independent of all traces of prejudice. You have a limited pool of partners to begin with, and it's made worse among gay men because of top/bottom mismatches and most want masculine partners while at the same time they have feminine characteristics. And what's more, hetero folks have the option of deciding to have a child with someone they are fully attracted to sexually, a child that appears without special intervention or expense and who is biologically half like one and half like the other. That opportunity is closed to gays and lesbians.

      All prejudice aside, pedophilia suffers from limited partner pool (down to zero) and greater vulnerability of those desired partners when a pedophile is short on self-control or ethics.

      So I'd say nearsightedness is an unfortunate condition, homosexuality is somewhat more so, and pedophilia is really considerably even more so.

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