Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The neglected older pedophile

With some regularity, we at Virtuous Pedophiles are approached by journalists hoping to find a pedophile to interview. Out of the hundreds of members who are active, there are often many to choose from. What do the journalists want?

They want someone who has struggled with the attraction, someone who has had difficulty resisting their desires, someone who has had difficulty finding mental health professionals to help them, and someone young.

All of these choices make sense.

Obviously anyone who is struggling is a better news item than someone who is peaceful and relatively contented.

The difficulty with finding mental health resources also makes perfect sense. It is a problem with concrete solutions -- create a program for young pedophiles. Or train therapists better. Relax mandatory reporting laws. If on the other hand the moral of the story is that people ought to be more open-minded about celibate pedophiles, there's no obvious action item. You can't lobby your legislators to mandate more open-mindedness.

For skeptics and moral conservatives, the primary motivation to care about pedophiles is as a means of protecting children. We may be disgusting and they may even hope we suffer, but if we need counseling to help protect the children, then that's a proposal worth listening to.

And then there's age.

We ourselves on <our own homepage> try to appeal to people by considering what they would do if their own teen son turned out to be a pedophile. More broadly, adults feel greater concern for 15-year-old nephew Kyle than they do for 60-year-old Uncle Fred.

In general, young people are more impulsive than older people. Young men commit the majority of crimes in society. Despite the stereotype of the pedophile as an old guy, most sex crimes too are committed by young men.

And there's also the matter of a demonstrated track record. If a guy at the age of 40 is a serial child molester, society will be desperate to find some way to make him stop. He is also old news. But if a guy at the age of 40 has never abused a child sexually, then somehow or other he's got things figured out. If he hasn't offended yet, common sense suggests he won't offend in the future either.

This all makes sense. Young people in general need more guidance and support. Young men pose the greatest danger. They are the more appealing figures to present to readers, listeners, or viewers.

On the other hand, we older pedophiles do exist. And what are we, chopped liver? The moderators at Virtuous Pedophiles are mostly over 40. In a recent discussion, many shared a feeling of mild resentment that no one wants to interview us or talk about us. No one wants to congratulate us on successfully navigating a life played in "expert mode". No one wants to write about the loneliness we feel. For just this one paragraph, let me give a small "hrrumph!" on behalf of us overlooked older celibate pedophiles.

We're ecstatic that journalists are showing interest in portraying any pedophiles in a sympathetic light. We agree that the young are the appropriate focus. Maybe some day, when sympathetic shows about pedophilia are searching for a new angle, they will find that the older celibate pedophile is worth some time too.



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